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STRATEGY FOR THE DAY: Eat eggs.

I received a funny email yesterday from my friend, Ed Hillhouse. Ed is an engineer and songwriter. I know it sounds like an unsual combination but it's one I have seen several times now and it seems to work just fine. Engineering a song is not all that different from engineering anything else. Ed also has a sense of humor as dry as a creek bottom in an Arizona drought. He recently got back in touch with an old high school friend he hadn't heard from in many years. The friend sent an email with a legal notice at the bottom:

NOTICE:  This message and any attached files are confidential and are intended solely for the addressee(s) named above.  This communication may contain information that is proprietary, protected by the attorney-client or work product privileges, or otherwise legally exempt from disclosure.  If you are not the intended recipient, please notify the sender immediately by reply e-mail and permanently delete the original message.

Ed sent a reply with a legal notice:

NOTICE: This message and any attached files hereto are not to be spindled, mutilated or treated in any other offensive manner just because the reader is having a bad day or suspects that the sender is being sarcastic or capricious in any matter whatsoever but rather must grin and bear it without the expressed written consent of sender or proxy who might have recently discussed such matters with same and can sufficiently lay claim to an understanding abstract or otherwise that the sender would prefer to just forget that the entire episode ever occurred but shake hands and continue an otherwise longstanding friendship even if seemingly periodic in nature.

I have the feeling there's potential here so I wrote a few Legal Notices I'd Like To See...

NOTICE: This message and any attached files are part of a larger conspiracy involving the Illuminati, the United Post Office, Karl Rove, and Paris Hilton. This communication may contain gross exaggerations and utterly stupid ideas based on unfounded rumor but with just enough plausibility to allow some unscrupulous author to write a fictional non-fiction book and make a few million bucks. If you are not the intended recipient, keep this email anyway; you might be able to file a frivolous lawsuit against the sender.

NOTICE: This message and any attached files are ecologically unsafe. They have been genetically altered and may contain mutated proteins. May be harmful if swallowed. Do not eat with biscuits. Do not chew. If placed in hot water, contents may explode. Keep away from coffee makers and microwave ovens. If outgassing occurs, notify Department of Hazardous Materials. This communication may also contain trace amounts of male bovine waste products.

NOTICE: Do not read this message and any attached files. If you have already read this message, unread it immediately, arrest yourself and drive to your nearest FBI headquarters for debriefing. If you are not the intended recipient, you may ignore this notice after certifying that you have never been the intended recipient in this or any past life. But can one ever really be certain of that? And isn't this the intellectual dilemma faced by all sentient beings? Who am I? Who are you? Nevertheless, we must proceed despite our existential despair.

I'm sure someone else has thought of this before but I haven't done a Google search to find out. Could be a good time-waster, though!

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Read A Brief History Of Love Songs by Robin Frederick at the Sound Experience Music web site.

Copyright 2007 Robin Frederick. All rights reserved.