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STRATEGY FOR THE DAY: get out of the groove

I've received several hysterically funny emails, all trying to pull the same scam. The Nigerian / South African / Sudanese bank employee who has discovered an illegal slush fund and desperately needs a foreign bank account (i.e. yours) in order to get it out of the country. We are talking fabulous sums here, millions! All you have to do is open a bank account and deposit $1,000 or more as a token of your good faith. Then send the account number to the "bank employee" who will deposit the aforementioned fabulous sums. Except the sums never quite make it into the account and the $1,000 you deposited must be used to bribe an official, oh, and there are a few other unforeseen expenses... and before you know it, you've been HAD.

It is a brilliant scam, stupid and canny at the same time. It plays on people's greed and foolishness. Often people are too embarrassed to admit they've been taken in and don't report it at all. Others CONTINUE TO BELIEVE in the con after they've lost thousands. Here's a sample email. I love the errors in grammar and the persona created by the con artists. It's a thing of beauty.

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From: Lars Larpo
Subject: URGENT

3/5 RIDER HAGGARD
CLOSE, JO, BORG
SOUTH AFRICA.

(URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL)
(RE: TRANSFER OF ($ 152,000.000.00 USD)
ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY TWO MILLION DOLLARS

Dear sir,

We want to transfer to overseas ($ 152,000.000.00 USD) One hundred and Fifty two million United States Dollars from a Prime Bank in Africa, I want to ask you to quietly look for a reliable and honest person who will be capable and fit to provide either an existing bank account or to set up a new Bank account immediately to receive this money, even an empty account can serve to receive this money, as long as you will remain honest to me till the end for this important business trusting in you and believing in God that you will never let me down either now or in future.

I am Lars Larpo, the Auditor General of prime banks in Africa, during the course of our auditing I discovered a floating fund in an account opened in the bank in 1990 and since 1993 nobody has operated on this account again, after going through some old files in the records I discovered that the owner of the account died without a [heir] hence the money is floating and if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be forfeited for nothing. The owner of this account is Mr. Allan P. Seaman, a foreigner, and an industrialist, and he died, since 1993. and no other person knows about this account or any thing concerning it, the account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as well that Allan P. Seaman until his death was the manager Diamond Safari [pty]. SA.

We will start the first transfer with fifty two million [$52,000.000] upon successful transaction without any disappoint from your side, we shall re-apply for the payment of the remaining rest amount to your account, The amount involved is (USD 152M) One hundred and Fifty two million United States Dollars, only I want to first transfer $52,000.000 [fifty two million United States Dollar] from this money into a safe foreigners account abroad before the rest, but I don't know any foreigner, I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money can not be approved to a local person here, without valid international foreign passport, but can only be approved to any foreigner with valid international passport or drivers license and foreign account because the money is in US dollars and the former owner of the account Mr. Allan P. Seaman is a foreigner too, [and the money can only be approved into a foreign account]. However, we will sign a binding agreement, to bind us together.

I got your contact address from the Girl who operates computer, I am revealing this to you with believe in God that you will never let me down in this business, you are the first and the only person that I am contacting for this business, so please reply urgently so that I will inform you the next step to take urgently. Send also your private telephone and fax number including the full details of the account to be used for the deposit.

I want us to meet face to face to build confidence and to sign a binding agreement that will bind us together before transferring the money to any account of your choice where the fund will be safe. Before we fly to your country for withdrawal, sharing and investments.

I need your full co-operation to make this work fine. because the management is ready to approve this payment to any foreigner who has correct information of this account, which I will give to you, upon your positive response and once I am convinced that you are capable and will meet up with instruction of a key bank official who is deeply involved with me in this business.I need your strong assurance that you will never, never let me down.

At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 35% of the total amount, 60% will be for me, while 5% will be for expenses both parties might have incurred during the process of transferring.

I look forward to your earliest reply . You can contact me through my phone nos: (Several phone and fax no's are given with international phone codes.)

yours truly.

Lars Larpo.

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All the emails I have received so far are pretty similar to the above. However, here's another with a creative twist; it puts both greed and pity into play. A winning combination! I particularly like the "many blessings" that are bestowed upon the reader who is only required to indulge the sender by helping her steal several millions of (nonexistent) dollars. And i love the assurance that the money is not from drug deals. I know I'll sleep better at night.

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From: "alhaji agrba mohammed"
SUBJECT: URGENT HELP NEEDED

DEAR SIR,

I PRAY THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE MEETS YOU IN PEACE, MAY BLESSINGS OF GOD BE UPON YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND GRANT YOU THE WISDOM TO UNDERSTAND MY SITUATIONS AND HOW MUCH I REALLY NEEDYOUR ASSISTANCE.

BEFORE I START LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF MY NAME IS MRS.MARIAM ABACHA THE WIFE OF THE LATE AND FORMER HEAD OF STATE OF NIGERIA GENERAL SANNI ABACHA.

SINCE THE (STRANGE AND UNFORTUNATE) DEATH OF MY HUSBAND (MAY GOD'S MERCY BE UPON HIM), THE GOVERNMENT HAS TURNED AGAINST MY FAMILY WITH STRANGE ACCUSATION.

AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS A LITTLE VENDETTA FROM MY HUSBAND'S ENEMIES BUT I WAS WRONG. THEY ARRESTED MY ONLY SON OLD ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF THE FAMILY AND THEN THEY FROZE ALL OUR BANK ACCOUNTS KNOWN TO THEM, HOPINGTHAT WE WILL STARVE TO DEATH.

WHY CAN'T WE ALL LIVE IN PEACE? SINCE I CAN?T DO ANYTHING IN MY POSITION HERE, THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN.

MY FAMILY IS GOING THROUGH HARDSHIP, MY SON IS IN JAIL AND THE REMAINING ONES AND MYSELF ARE UNDER HOUSE ARREST. THE NEW DEMOCRATIC GOVERNMENT OF PRESIDENT OLUSEGUN OBANSANJO HAS SEIZED MORE THAN US$88 MILLION DOLLARS ALREADY AND THEY ARE STILL SEIZING A LOT OF LAND AND PROPERTY. ALL THAT IS REMAINING NOW IS US$60MILLION DOLLARS, AND THIS MONEY HAS BEEN KEPT IN A PLACE I CANNOT DISCLOSE, UNTIL WE MAKE PERSONAL CONTACT.

WE CANNOT TOUCH THIS MONEY IN NIGERIA FOR YOU KNOW WE ARE UNDER HOUSE ARREST AND ARE BEING SERIOUSLY WATCHED BY THE GOVERNMENT. SO AFTER DISCUSSING WITH MY SON, THIS IS WHAT WE PLAN TO DO WITH THE MONEY, WE PLAN TO SEND IT TO YOUR COUNTRY USING A VERY POPULAR DIPLOMATIC COURIER SERVICE HERE IN NIGERIA.

SO THIS IS WHY WE NEED A FOREIGN PARTNER AND YOUR HELP. SINCE YOU WILL BE THE ONE COLLECTING THE PACKAGE IN THE COUNTRY THAT IT WILL BE SENT TO, THE SUM WILL BE SHARED IN THREE WAYS. 60% WILL BE USED TO INVEST IN YOUR COUNTRY OR COMPANY AND WHILE 30% WILL BE FOR YOU AND THE OTHER 10% WILL BE FOR EXPENSES INCURRED BY YOU OR US. IS THIS OKAY?

WE ALSO HOPE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED AND THAT YOU WON'T DISAPPOINT US? AND ALSO CONFIDENTIALITY IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND BEFORE I FORGET ONCE THE SUM ARRIVES IN THE DESIGNATED COUNTRY (WHICH I WILL DISCLOSE TO YOU LATER) WE WILL REQUIRE YOU TO SEND US AN INVITATION LETTER TO VISIT YOUR COUNTRY AND COLLECT OUR SHARE. THIS IS NOT A DEAL OR BUSINESS, IT IS A CRY FOR HELP. MAY GOD GUIDE YOU.

WHEN YOU REPLY PLEASE LEAVE YOUR CONTACT DETAILS, MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT AND FRIEND GARBA MOHAMMED WILL SPEAK TO YOU. HE WILL RELATE ALL YOUR MESSAGES TO ME, AND IF YOU WISH TO TALK TO ME JUST TELL HIM AND HE WILL MAKE ALL THE NECESSARY ARRANGEMENT.

AND FOR YOUR OWN INFORMATION THIS MONEY IS DRUG FREE AND 100% RISK FREE. TIME IS AGAINST US, SO YOUR URGENT RESPONSE IS NEEDED.

ENDEAVOUR TO MAIL ME IMMEDIATELY YOU RECEIVE THIS EMAIL MESSAGE.

MAY ALMIGHTY ALLAH BE WITH YOU.

GARBA MOHAMMED

P.A TO MRS MARIAM ABACHA