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STRATEGY FOR THE DAY: Don't eat that.

Recently, I've been screening wedding songs for a compilation CD project. It's, well, unusual what some songwriters think would be an apppropriate lyric to accompany a bride and groom down the aisle. In case you are ever considering writing a wedding song yourself, here are a few do's and don't's.

Wedding songs should not begin with the following lines:
"Fifteen miles to the Love Shack..."
"Jive talkin'..."
"Tell Amy I love her..."
"I know I've been a little hard to live with lately..."
"An old flame from high school just blew into town..."
"I never promised you a rose garden..."
"I just bought a shiny, red Corvette..."
"Ay, la, la, la, la, la bamba..."
"Trailer for sale or rent / Rooms to let, fifty cents..."

Wedding songs should not mention:
Tequila
Last Saturday night
Prenuptial agreements

Wedding songs should not end with the lines:
"D-I-V-O-R-C-E"
"Wham! Bam! Thank you Ma'am!"
"Don't be a stranger."

Wedding songs should not be sung by:
Big & Rich
Tommy Lee
Paris Hilton
Any former Mousketeer

Putting wedding lyrics to Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" is appropriate.
Putting wedding lyrics to "A Fifth of Beethoven" is not.

A string quartet, guitar, or piano may provide appropriate accompaniment. Wedding songs should not be played on:
Nose flute
Kazoo
Crumhorn
While wedding songs may be played on the Saw, it is considered an unlucky choice.

Thanks to Judith Podell and her wonderful essay "A Beginner's Guide to the Blues" excerpted here for the inspiration for this piece.

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Read A Brief History Of Love Songs by Robin Frederick at the Sound Experience Music web site.

Copyright 2005 Robin Frederick. All rights reserved.